- A SQL query walks into a bar and sees two tables. He walks up to them and says "Can I join you?"
Then a waitress walks up and says "Nice view".
- At what time do the SQL developers start work? Generally about three hours after they arrive in the morning.
- Q1: What did the DBA say to the Developer?
A: It doesn’t matter, he wasn’t listening anyway.
Q2: What did the Developer say to the DBA?
A: It doesn’t matter, the answer was no.
- DBA 1: "How many developers work at your office?"
DBA 2: "Oh, about half of them!"
- There are two types of DBAs:
1) DBAs that do backups
2) DBAs that will do backups
- Q: Why do you never ask SQL people to help you move your furniture?
A: They sometimes drop the table.
- SQL Table walks to a psychiatrist dr. Index
Table: "Doctor, I have a problem"
Dr: "what kind a problem?"
Table: "I'm a mess. I have things all over the place, i always look for my stuff"
Dr. "No problem. I will get you in order".
- He picked those two tables after performing a full scan of the other tables in the room.
- Q: When did God create the DBA ?
A. The day before he had his rights revoked.