A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous
pasture in California when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him
out of a cloud of dust. The driver, a young man in a Brioni
suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window
and asked the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves
you have in your herd, Will you give me a calf?"
Bud looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer,
connects it to his iPhone 5, and surfs to a NASA page
on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix
on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans
the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.
The young man then
opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image
processing facility.
Within seconds, he
receives an email on his Samsung Galaxy that the image has been processed
and the data stored. He then accesses a DB2 on z/OS database through an ODBC
connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a
few minutes, receives a response.
Finally, he prints out a
full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet
printer, turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and
calves."
"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud.
He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with
amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"
"You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says Bud.
"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even
though nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already
knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of
equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are, and you
don't know a thing about how working people make a living, or about cows
for that matter. This is a herd of sheep.
Now give me back my dog.