Android and iPhone or: Android vs. iPhone

We live in a world where losing your iPhone is way more dramatic than losing your virginity.
Chuck Norris runs Android on an iPhone.
Chuck Norris has not customized his Android phone.
Chuck Norris does not have a smartphone, Chuck Norris is smart.
How many Android user does it take to change a light bulb?
One. He puts the bulb in and lets the world revolve around him.
Q: Why did Steve Jobs live his last moments in regret?
A: They say your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. Unfortunately for Steve Jobs, his iPhone 4S didn't have a Flash player installed!
Do not touch MY iPhone. It's not an usPhone, it's not a wePhone, it's not an ourPhone, it's an iPhone.
What is the difference between Android 4.1 and 4.2? Six months.

IT personnel and management

 The following is an old joke that still holds a lot (or even more?) truth these days...

A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions:

"Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"

The man below says:
 "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."

"You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist.

"I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone."

The man below replies, "You must work in management."

"I do," replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?"*

"Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."