Android and iPhone or: Android vs. iPhone

We live in a world where losing your iPhone is way more dramatic than losing your virginity.
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Chuck Norris runs Android on an iPhone.
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Chuck Norris has not customized his Android phone.
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Chuck Norris does not have a smartphone, Chuck Norris is smart.
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How many Android user does it take to change a light bulb?
One. He puts the bulb in and lets the world revolve around him.
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Q: Why did Steve Jobs live his last moments in regret?
A: They say your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. Unfortunately for Steve Jobs, his iPhone 4S didn't have a Flash player installed!
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Do not touch MY iPhone. It's not an usPhone, it's not a wePhone, it's not an ourPhone, it's an iPhone.
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What is the difference between Android 4.1 and 4.2? Six months.